Good Intentions

I remember in 2005, thinking that that would be my year of change and that after that, my life would calm down and I could begin to settle. After all, I had a new job, new house, living in a new town, making new friends, new lifestyle, just graduated with my Masters, lost my dad - everything about my life was so up in the air. And so out of my hands.....I wish I could say that things have settled down and that I am beginning to see how all the pieces fit together....but I still can’t see it. I know we’re supposed to look at the big picture, but every single time I think I have something figured out - look out - cause here comes the curve ball. Is this normal? Because I feel like it’s only happening to me. I want to be strong in my faith and say that I’m happily giving God control, but I honestly cannot say that yet. And then here comes the old legalistic Lynn saying that I’m still not doing things right, that I’m still not doing enough. That there’s still something wrong with what I’m doing. All that just boils down to me trying to buy God’s grace and love. That’s so hard for me to overcome.

I know what God says....I know he loves me more than I’ll ever allow Him to.....